


Lying Through my Teeth

by Mickey_99



Series: Haikyuu Soulmates AU [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kageyama is a bit ooc, M/M, Past Abuse, Polyamory, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Suicide Attempt, so is hinata
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:28:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mickey_99/pseuds/Mickey_99
Summary: Nobody quite knows how soulmates work. It’s just been a concept that has always seemed to exist. You meet someone and then suddenly you are able to communicate with them by writing on their skin. After some time knowing them, you feel pain from your soulmate as well. Of course, with this came the ability to keep your soulmate from experiencing any of those things coming from your end.orKageyama just wants to be loved but he is having a tough time with it.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Haikyuu Soulmates AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736596
Comments: 38
Kudos: 781





	Lying Through my Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy I might add more stories like this to this series and maybe do Hinata's story. But let me know what you think of this one before I jump into all of that. If you want more let me know.

Nobody quite knows how soulmates work. It’s just been a concept that has always seemed to exist. You meet someone and then suddenly you are able to communicate with them by writing on their skin. After some time knowing them, you feel pain from your soulmate as well. Of course, with this came the ability to keep your soulmate from experiencing any of those things coming from your end.

I had two soulmates. I knew both of them. They didn’t know me. Or rather they didn’t know me as their soulmate.

“Keep the wall up Tobio,” My dad would say gruffly looking at the writing on my arms before sliding his hands around the front of me, in a way that no father should ever touch their child,” Always remember you belong to me.”

“Yes Dad,” I would say looking straight forward, trying desperately to find anything to focus on that wasn’t the hands wandering across my body.

“That’s not what you call me,” My dad would say nipping at my ear.

“Yes daddy,” I would choke out disgusted with myself and beginning to cry. I would watch as my mother turned up the TV to drown out my cries happening right on the couch next to her. Occasionally she would turn to look at me and tell me to be quiet.

But I was fine. It was okay. I didn’t need soulmates. I didn’t need food. I didn’t need friends, a father, or a mother who loved me. I only needed one thing…

Volleyball.

When I was playing volleyball, I could pretend that everything was alright. I didn’t need to find a spot on the wall so that I could think of literally anything else than what was happening to my body. When I played volleyball, I didn’t need to focus on the growling in my stomach, my mother’s disappointed eyes, or my father’s hungry ones.

When I played volleyball, it was just me and the ball. Nothing else.

But there was one thing I couldn’t escape even in volleyball. My soulmates.

“Oikawa-san, please teach me how to serve.”

“Fuck off,” Oikawa would say pissed off,” What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you understand that no means no?”

A hand would appear on Oikawa’s shoulder.

“Just let him ask Oikawa,” Iwaizumi would say, trying his best to calm down his best friend,” He’s just a kid.”

Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru, two of the most beautiful human beings on the planet. At least in my eyes.

They were also my soulmates though. So, I may have been biased. I had loved them since the beginning. I had been wearing long sleeves when I first met them, so I didn’t notice right away. But that night when my dad was ripping of my clothes and paused, I noticed.

“How long?” My dad growled out.

“I d-don’t know I must have met them today and not noticed.”

“Put a wall up,” my father responded.

“But those are extremely painful and I- “I cut himself off with a scream when my dad had twisted my arm behind my back. I thanked whatever god was out there that I didn’t have a pain or emotion connection with my soulmate yet.

“Do it Tobio,” My dad snarled behind my ear, “Do you think anyone could ever care about you, if you alert them that you are here and they suddenly want to meet you, what are you going to do? You ruin everything you touch; do you really want to ruin your soulmate as well.”

I felt tears prick my eyes and I did what my father asked and built a wall. Only problem is it was only one-way. They couldn’t see me, but I could see everything.

After my father finished that night, I held onto hope that he was wrong. I was this person’s soulmate. That meant that they needed me, right?

That night after getting ready for bed I had looked down at my arms. No, Dad was right. I had two soulmates. So, they really didn’t need me at all. Did they?

My suspicions of this only proved to be truer once I realized who my soulmates were.

Iwaizumi Hajime.

Oikawa Tooru.

But even though they didn’t need me, didn’t make it so I didn’t need them. In fact, I needed them so bad it hurt.

So, I relented that I would find a way to be around them even if it wasn’t in the way I wanted.

“Oikawa-san, please teach me how to set.”

“Iwaizumi-san, can you please hit a few of my sets.”

“Oikawa-san, please teach me your jump serve.”

“Iwaizumi-san, can you throw me some balls to set.”

“Oikawa-san, please teach me some blocks.”

“Iwaizumi-san, please let me try to stop some of your spikes.”

I would ask every volleyball question I could to the two of them. Not only wanting to learn but wanting to soothe the ache in my chest that came from being partially disconnected from the two of them.

Then one night as I was looking at the conversation on my arm. My heart sank.

_I really hate Tobio-chan._

_I know he can be annoying, Tooru but you didn’t need to almost hit the kid._

**_I really hate Tobio-Chan_ **

**_I know he can be annoying._ **

****

**_Hate._ **

**_Annoying._ **

****

That night I was glad for the wall as I traced over those sentences with a razor blade, as my parents were fighting again downstairs. I heard a door slam shut, and a car drive off.

The next morning, I walked downstairs with my arm bandaged and in full display. My mother looked uncaringly. She had a suitcase full of stuff.

“Your dad left.”

I nodded, I felt numb.

“I’m going to go live with my parents for a while. You’ll stay here. I’ll send some money every now and then for food, and I’ll pay the bills. But anything extra you are in charge of. Try to not disappoint me.”

And with that I was completely alone.

I pushed away Kunimi and Kindaichi, because if people were going to leave, they were going to leave on my terms not theirs.

I threw myself even further into volleyball. I had already practiced way more than what was healthy as is. But now there were entire days where I skipped class, food, and sleep just to practice.

My soulmates weren’t there to hold onto anymore. And even if they were, I should just leave them be.

No one wanted me. I didn’t even want me. So, I pushed everyone away. To the point where it was just me and the ball.

**_Just me and the ball._ **

**_Me and the ball._ **

And then I tried to pretend it didn’t completely shatter me when everyone turned their backs on me.

It didn’t hurt.

**_It didn’t hurt._ **

**_Not at all._ **

And it definitely didn’t hurt when he was crying in the bathroom and saw the writing appear on him arm.

_Shittykawa, these guys are looking for Kageyama so that they can leave. If you see him while you’re in the bathroom tell him to hurry up so these guys can get out of here._

_But Iwa-chan why do I have to do it._

_Because I told them we would drive him home if they couldn’t find him in 15 minutes._

_WHY WOULD YOU OFFER THAT? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE HIM._

_The team has had a long day, I think they deserve to go home and get some sleep. I swear sometimes you are a really shitty guy._

_Fine. Iwa-chan is rude._

Three minutes later the door to the bathroom opened and I threw a hand over my mouth to quiet my breathing. I was on top of the toilet so I knew whoever it was couldn’t see my feet.

“Stupid Tobio-Chan,” the person muttered to themselves. I knew it was Oikawa, no one else calls me Tobio-chan.” Doesn’t he care about his team at all.

And I was trying because I was holding toilet paper to my now bloody arms as I waited with bated breath for Oikawa to leave and for the blood to stop coming so I could wash his arms.

The cut had been deeper than normal, and blood was now dripping into the toilet water, but it was a quiet slow lazy drip, so the noise faded to the background.

It took 7 mins for Oikawa to leave, 8 more to stop the bleeding, and 5 more after that to clean the blood and wrap my arms. By the time I had thrown on my jacket and run to where my team was supposed to be, the only one’s standing there were Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

“Tobio-chan,” Oikawa whined,” Where the hell were you? What the hell took so long? Now me and Iwa-chan have to take time out of our busy schedule to take you home.”

“Shittykawa shut up,” said Iwaizumi.

“I thank you for waiting,” I said bowing slightly,” but I’ll walk.”

“That’s a two-hour walk,” said Iwaizumi,” And it’s getting dark out, I think your parents would rather us take you.”

“I’ll take the bus then,” I said brushing past them.

I was stopped when I felt a hand gripping my arm rather harshly. I bit back a wince and turned to see Oikawa with an extremely forced smile.

“Listen Tobio-chan,” he said through gritted teeth,” we were nice enough to wait so wouldn’t it be rude to simply brush off our offer now.”

I relented, realizing that no matter which choice I made the two of them would be walking out of this building annoyed. I nodded falling into step behind them. I was feeling dizzy. I had lost more blood than usual, I hadn’t eaten that day, and I had just played a game.

My body was showing how close it was to passing out more and more with every step.

“Kageyama?” Iwaizumi said,” Are you alright?”

“Not feeling well,” I stated,” That’s why I took so long. Sorry.”

I took another step and the room began spinning with a renewed vigor. I felt myself pitch forward before being caught by Iwaizumi. I felt my body convulse with shivers has picked me up.

“Kageyama you’re burning up,” he said,” we need to get you out of your jacket.”

“NO,” I shouted intensely.

Both Upperclassman look at me in surprise and in suspicion.

“Sorry,” I said,” I get cold really easily when I’m sick. My body hurts really bad in the cold.”

The lie fit easily between my teeth. It seems to fool them completely and both of them nod. Though Iwaizumi makes a point of saying that he was going to be carrying me to the car.

I allowed the carrying as long as I could keep my jacket. And I tried to ignore the fluttering of my heart as one of my soulmates was now carrying me to the car.

“What high school are you going to?” Asks Oikawa,” I need to know now if I am changing schools.”

I ignore the shattering of my heart to answer them.

“Karasuno,” I said quietly.

“Oh good, I get to stay at my current school,” I hear Oikawa say.

I feel a shift as Iwaizumi kicks Oikawa in the ass.

“Knock it off Shittykawa.”

Once we got to the car Iwaizumi laid me down in the back seat. And then got into the drivers seat himself, Oikawa had already gotten into the passenger’s seat.

The drive felt long and extremely awkward. I could tell that the entire time Oikawa was just barely holding back more insults and smartass comments. I had a feeling that Oikawa was holding back so that Iwaizumi didn’t hit him again. I wondered how much trouble Iwaizumi would have controlling Oikawa once the bond of pain kicked in.

My thoughts continued to wander until we pulled up in front of the house. Iwaizumi helped me out of the car and up to the door of my house before I told him that I would be fine walking from there. Oikawa was stood behind Iwaizumi as the two of them looked at the outside of my house.

“Are your parents at home?” Iwaizumi asked.

“No, they are at work,” I said giving my usual response.

“On a weekend?” asks Oikawa raising his eyebrow. I knew he was trying to get under my skin, he didn’t actually care.

“They both travel for work.” I said.

I had been asked these questions before. I had my answers ready this time. My perfectly practiced and proven answers.

“You’re by yourself?” asks Iwaizumi,” How long are they gone for.”

“A month or two at a time,” I said carefully,” They send food money.”

“But you’re alone in that house,” says Oikawa. And for the first time I see how his eyes are shining with the slightest bit of concern.

But I had danced to this rhythm before. I had an answer for this too.

“I have a neighbor who checks on me often. She is at work right now, but she comes over to make sure I’ve eaten. And I call my parents every night to video chat.”

I watched as their shoulders visibly sagged in relief. More Iwaizumi’s than Oikawa’s.

I knew I was lying right through my teeth. I knew that if either of them bothered to fact check any of these statements I would be screwed to hell. But sometimes the best lies were a gamble.

“Okay,” said Iwaizumi,” But I’m still going to give you our phone numbers in case something happens.”

Both me and Oikawa move to protest but the glare he gives both of us stops us short. I relent and hand him my phone in defeat.

“Okay,” he said handing my phone back after inputting both their numbers,” Don’t hesitate to give either of us a call if you need anything.”

“Hesitate on calling me,” Oikawa said.

I watched as Iwaizumi smacked him without looking away from me.

“Promise you’ll call,” Iwaizumi says,” If you need anything.”

“Okay,” I said,” I promise.”

“Okay,” said Iwaizumi giving me a small smile.

And if I didn’t admit that that smile caused my heart to skip a few beats I would be the biggest liar in history.

I watched them pull off. And not for the first time I wasn’t sure if I should be proud of the gambled lies, I made paying off.

I found after only a short time at Karasuno that there was in fact one person who was better at the lying game I was playing than I was. He was able to call me on my bullshit no matter what I said. He respected my right to privacy though and didn’t dig into my painful past that he knew was there but wasn’t going to excavate out of me.

And for that reason, he was my best friend.

**_My best friend._ **

**_Best Friend._ **

Hinata Shouyou.

He wasn’t my soulmate. No one could ever replace my soul mates. But he was the first one to make life worth living in a long time.

And by the time I played against Aoba Johsai, my soulmates, my ex-best friends, I had another friend. But this time it was one I knew wouldn’t leave me again so easily. He kept up with my extreme training. He hit my sets. But more than that, he made me slow down and breathe.

Kindaichi and Kunimi seemed shocked by the outcome. They seemed shocked by me. And I was shocked too. Normally I’d be pushing Hinata away. But Hinata wasn’t going to let me. And I wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted anymore.

For a while, things were good. Surprisingly we fell into a rhythm, Hinata and I. And, even more surprisingly, Hinata was like a mother hen. We both practiced a lot, but he made sure we did it in a healthy way. He would bring me food at lunch and sit with me. On my bad days, I noticed, he carried conversation. He wouldn’t ask me questions; he would wait for answers without ever asking for them.

And one day before our first practice match against Nekoma, I told him something I had never told anyone.

“My dad would rape me when I was a kid you know,” I said as we sat outside the gym on the grass. The rest of the team was running and goofing of lunches in hand.

“I know,” he said quietly,” Or well, I had a feeling.”

“How?” I asked,” I thought I hid is all so well.”

“You do,” said Hinata,” I’ve just hidden it too. So, I know what to look for.”

I feel my eyes go wide.

“You too?” I asked quietly.

“I did it to protect my sister and mom,” Hinata says quietly.

“When did it stop for you?” I asked.

“Last year a couple days before the game I played against you,” Hinata says,” My mom found out what he was doing and called the cops. What about you?”

“My dad walked out on my mom a few days into my second year of middle school.”

“Let me guess,” said Hinata,” Your mom left you soon after.”

I nodded my head not surprised at all that he had put the pieces together. As much as I might tease him about being stupid, the reality was just that he just was a different kind of smart.

He was my best friend in the entire world, so when he came up to me spouting about how he had just met his soulmates on the street the day after telling our childhood traumas, I actually felt genuine joy in my heart for him. So, the next day when I came face to face with a pudding haired, introverted setter. And a beheaded, mischievous team captain of the Nekoma team. I stared both of them straight in the eyes and told them to never hurt my best friend.

And when both of them lit up as he ran over, I felt genuine joy in my heart for my best friend. I felt content in the fact that Hinata would be taken care of.

That being said, It, still hurt to understand my soulmates would never want me like that. I was getting tired of the wall. The way it sat heavy on my chest and caused me so much pain. I was growing tired of the act.

So, one day as I was cutting my arms, I wasn’t surprised when my strength gave out and the wall fell.

I realized too late that I had, without thinking, I had cut vertically up my arm. It wasn’t deep. But It was obvious that the other two knew it was there. And that's when I noticed the wall was gone.

**_TOORU WHAT DID YOU DO?!_ **

_IT’S NOT ME!!!_

**_IT HAS TO BE YOU!!!_ **

_IT’S NOT!!! MINE IS ONLY A BRUISE AS WELL!!!_

**_Okay, well it isn’t me… Is it possible there is someone else?_ **

_HEY!!! Whoever you are!!! Stop!!! We are here for you!!!_

**_Yeah, just talk to us._ **

I felt a maniac laugh bubble in my chest.

__

_Why should I?_

I didn’t realize I was writing it until the pen hit my skin.

_Holy shit, there is someone else. Um, what’s your name._

_ I’m going to decline to answer _

There was no point in hiding the fact I was there anymore, but I wasn’t about to ruin the one good connection I had with my soulmates by saying my name. For the first time they were talking to me like they cared. And it might be selfish, but I didn’t want that to stop.

**_Why not say your name. Mine is Iwaizumi Hajime._ **

_Mine is Oikawa Tooru. Come on tell us yours._

_ It isn’t safe for me to tell you mine. _

It wasn’t a complete lie. Oikawa would probably kill me if he found out.

**Okay, so no names. What about a time period of when we met?**

_ I think it was middle school. I remember your names. _

__

Again, not a complete lie.

_How have we not noticed you till now?_

_ I have kept my side blocked by a wall. Almost like a one-way screen. I could see out you couldn’t see in. _

**_Why???_ **

What was the harm in telling them? I thought to myself. It’s not like they will ever know its me they are talking to, and there is no way to trace a bond’s location.

_ My father said my body belongs to him. _

There was no response for a while. Afterall, how do you respond to that.

_Are you safe right now?_

**_Is he around?_ **

****

The responses came at the same time. And I felt a flutter in my heart at the fact that they cared.

_ No, he left a long time ago, he isn’t the one I’m scared of anymore. _

**_Who are you scared of now?_ **

_ I decline to answer. _

There was no way I would ever tell them that I was scared of them.

_What year are you?_

_ I decline to answer. _

**_Are you older or younger than us?_ **

_ I think younger. _

_I wish we could help you._

_ You are. _

**_How?_ **

_ I’m not alone right now. That helps more than you know. _

_Okay then from now on let’s talk here. It doesn’t have to be serious, and it doesn’t have to put you in danger. Just don’t shut us out anymore._

**_Tooru is right. Which is surprising, but still let’s get to know each other. Is there something we can call you? It doesn’t have to be your real name._ **

****

I thought about it for a moment.

KAgeyama TObio

_ Call me Kato _

The rest of the night we chatted about random things until my body was covered in messages. The next day at practice we held a practice game against Aoba Johsai. And if I heard quiet talk between two third years about a third soulmate, I made no indication I knew what they were talking about.

But when Oikawa yelled loudly to Iwaizumi about wishing that their third was there to protect him against the “mean Iwa-chan”, a small smile graced my face.

For months I continued to talk to them. Happily, I melded with them without them ever once knowing it was actually me. I told them about my life, about my childhood, about volleyball. And if I was actually more honest with the two of them than most everyone else in real life. Well that was for me to know.

I almost forgot how much my soulmates hated me in real life. Almost.

So, when Karasuno played their first official game against Aoba Johsai and lost. Well I remembered then. The look that Oikawa gave me after winning, I would never forget. And suddenly all over again I felt numb.

I didn’t hear anything as we did our team huddle. I didn’t hear anything on the bus ride back. I didn’t hear anything on my walk home. Didn’t hear anything when I entered my house.

_I finally did it. I Beat Tobio-chan. I can fucking forget about the pathetic king and move on with my life._

There was no response from Iwaizumi to the statement written on my arm. But even if there was, I wouldn’t have noticed it.

My chest felt too heavy, I couldn’t breathe. All too soon reality was back in my face. The fact that I would never be truly loved by my soulmates.

I felt a laugh bubble in my throat.

_“Promise to call if you need anything.”_

“Okay Hajime,” I said to myself as I searched for the number that I had never used.

I hit call. It rang 3 times before I heard the phone click as being picked up.

_“Kageyama?”_ Iwaizumi’s voice asked. I could hear the confusion in his voice.

“Hey _Hajime,_ ” I said. I knew my voice sounded insane. I knew I was about to throw away every gamble I had ever won right then and there,” I have a story for you.”

_“Kageyama are you okay?”_

I heard voices in the background.

Kunimi.

Kindaichi.

Oikawa.

“Just listen to my story Iwaizumi.” I said. Laughter bubbled inside my chest. At this point I had started running the bath not caring what temperature the water was at. It didn’t matter. I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed every pill bottle I could. I could feel myself slipping. Who was I kidding, I was already gone.

“Okay,” said Iwaizumi,” alright I’m listening. Just tell me if your going to be okay or not.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said,” I am just sad because I am moving.”

I held back another morbid laugh at the irony. Because I won’t be moving at all where I am going.

“Where too?” asked Iwaizumi, I couldn't tell if he believed me or not. But, it sounded like a genuine question.

“No,” I said,” I need to tell you my story.”

I grabbed my knife off the sink but dropped it with how bad my hands were shaking. It clattered loud against the ground.

“What was that?” His voice sounded panicked.

“I am packing,” I said laughing slightly,but the laugh was wet from my tears,” Now my story. Once Upon a time there was a little boy. Let’s call him, uh, Kato. Kato is a good name.”

I heard a sharp breath from the other side of the phone.

“Kageyama I don’t think you should be alone right now, where are you?”

I ignored his question in favor of climbing into the tub. My clothes were still on. It didn’t matter.

**NONE OF IT MATTERED.**

“Kato had two soulmates,” I said my voice shaking, tears were rolling down my face,” Kato’s dad didn’t let Kato see them or acknowledge them. Because Kato belonged to his dad. His dad would use Kato's body every way he could.”

I heard yelling on the other side of the phone.

“Kageyama,” said Iwaizumi out of breath,” I need you to tell me where you are?”

Again, I ignored him. This time I poured the first bottle of pills down my throat.

“It was okay though,” I said, a strangled sob left my throat.” As, long as he had volleyball it was okay. It was the only thing that made him happy. And he got to be close to his soulmates even though he knew they would never want him. He asked them to teach him volleyball. All he wanted was to be close to them. But one hated him. And the other thought he was annoying.”

****

“Tobio,” This time it wasn’t Iwaizumi,” Tell us the story later, okay, promise me you’ll tell me later.”

“I can’t Tooru,” I said,” I don’t have later. Remember I am moving somewhere far away.”

I heard a noise of destress along with the sounds of a car from the other side of the phone.

“Please Tobio, listen to me.”

Again, I ignored the pleas. This was always going to happen.

“And then one day Kato’s dad left, but so did his mom. His mom left too. Not that she ever cared. She knew what Kato’s father did. She did nothing,” I spit the word nothing through my teeth and threw back the last bottle of pills before picking up my knife. "Nobody ever stays. Nobody ever loves Kato."

“Tobio please stop,” I heard Oikawa say. I could hear his voice waver. “I know this story. I’ve been told it in the past. I know it so please just work on staying safe okay. We are almost there.”

I felt tears fall down my face as I brought the knife to the heel of my palm.

“If you know,” I said quietly,” Then you know who I need you to apologize to for me. Tell Shouyou that I’m sorry okay. I want you two to know that I’ve loved you since the very beginning.”

I made the deep long vertical cut right as I lost feeling to my hands. As I made the cut, I heard shouts of protest over the phone. I knew they both could feel it. That must mean the bond on pain had clicked into place. I felt bad for the pain I was causing them. But I needed to die.

“Tobio please,” I heard Iwaizumi say frantically.

“It’s okay,” I said,” I’m done now. I’ve made sure that you never have to see me again.”

I felt my phone slip from grasp after I said that. Felt my body sink into the tub. I was awake but I didn’t have the energy to try to surface. I felt my eyes start to shut, but they snapped open again when I felt the front of my shirt being pulled and someone hauling my shivering form out of the tub. My eyes met with a chocolate brown and I smiled.

“I knew the angels would have a face like his,” I said still smiling,” Tooru was always so beautiful.”

Said angel let out a choked sob before shouting behind him about needing an ambulance. I watched tears fall down his face as he presses a towel against my arm.

“Don’t cry beautiful,” I said bringing a hand up to his face and cupping it softly,” Not when you've made me so happy.”

“Tobio listen to me,” the angel said,” stay awake for me. Keep your eyes open for me. Okay?”

I watched as turned away from me.

“HAJIME, I NEED THE AMBULANCE NOW THERE IS TOO MUCH BLOOD,” shouts the angel.

“It will be here in 3 minutes- “I look to see another angel in the doorway with a look of terror in his eyes. “Oh my God. Tooru are you applying pressure?”

“Yes!” the first angel sounds distraught. “There is too much.”

A sob makes its way from the second angel’s throat. And he falls to his knees only a foot from my head. I reach my hand out to touch his face.

“They looked like you.” I said, my voice was weak but for some reason I had to tell these angel’s something. “They were both so perfect. I wish I could have been loved by them." I felt my hand fall and the world went dark moments after hearing a loud screeching from far away.

When I woke up, there was a strong smell of disinfectant, an obnoxious beeping, and a weight in both of my hands.

I hissed as the light entered my now fluttering vision and winced at the feeling of going from dark to light.

After my eyes adjusted to the light, I looked around the room, there were flowers everywhere and balloons and cards. But most surprisingly of all, Oikawa Tooru was holding tightly to one of my hands and Iwaizumi was grasping the other. Iwaizumi was asleep in an uncomfortable plastic hospital chair. And on the other side of me Oikawa seemed to be grasping my hand tightly while hunched forward and tapping his feet. It was then that I recognized the fact that my hand was getting wet. Not only that but Oikawa’s shoulders were shuddering, and I could hear the sound of heavy breathing coming from him.

“Oikawa-san?”

I said carefully.

I watched as his head snapped up, eyes comically wide.

It would have been funny if not for the obvious puffiness around his eyes and tears running down his face.

“Tobio,” His voice cracked and so did my heart.

“Come here,” I said holding out my arms.

Next thing I knew I had and armful of the one person I thought would rather kill me than hug me.

“Please,” said Oikawa,” Never do that again. It was my fault this time, and I’m so sorry. I’ve never hated myself more. But please never do that again.”

“I thought you hated me,” I said.

“I never hated you,” said Oikawa,” I mean I don’t think I ever truly did. And If I ever did it was because I was jealous of you. The things I did, I will always regret them for as long as I live. I thought you would never wake up. Its been two months you know. I don’t think either of us has left without being forced out by a doctor. After finding out you and Kato were the same person. God, I hated myself. I still do.”

“Don’t,” I said cutting off his self-hatred train,” Don’t hate something that has brought me so much joy.”

He huffed out a laugh.

“When did you get smooth?” I hear Iwaizumi ask from behind me.

“Must be all that beauty rest I got,” I said sarcastically.

“That’s got to be it,” said Oikawa, as he pressed a button beside my head.

A doctor walked in. He mentioned how good it was to see me awake, checked how steady my walking and vitals were before stating that I could go home after a couple hours.

“You healed a lot during your Coma, that’s why you see a scar on your arm and not stitches,” said the doctor,” so you should be good. It will take a while to process the paperwork so work on getting showered and changed. You might need a little help standing for long periods of time. But I’m sure your soulmates will have no problem helping you shower.”

The doctor gives a wink and I blush, causing both Oikawa and Iwaizumi to break out into laughter. The doctor leaves the room and I stand with the help of Oikawa.

Iwaizumi states that he’s going to go get me a change of clothes from home and leaves the room.

“Do you need some help getting showered,” asks Oikawa.

I nod my head, a blush making its way onto my face. I feel ashamed. I knew that my back and backend were both scarred from the tearing and beating I had gotten from my dad years ago.

“Hey what’s wrong?” Oikawa asks.

“No one has seen me naked since my dad,” I said,” He used to… well… you know the story.”

I felt Oikawa’s grip on me tighten.

“I should have killed him when I had the chance.”

My head snaps up, “What?”

“He came here while you were asleep. Me and Iwaizumi kicked him out and told the doctors what he did to you. Threatened to tell the police if he didn’t get lost. But he left and disappeared before we could go after him,” Oikawa said,” The hospital probably called him as your legal guardian.”

I nodded my head. I didn’t want to say anything for fear that I would begin to cry.

Oikawa led me into the bathroom and turned on my water. He held my hand under the water after a moment and asked me if it was a good temperature.

He helped me undress, being especially careful over my joints which wear sore from lack of movement.

He helped me get into the shower before turning to leave.

“Wait,” I said, grabbing his wrist,” Please.”

I hesitated. The question I wanted was on the tip of my tongue.

“Could you shower with me?” I asked.

His eyes went wide.

“I don’t want to do anything sexual,” I said,” I’m just tired of being alone. I just want to be close to you.”

I watched as Oikawa nodded his head before stripping off his own clothes.

“I needed one anyways,” he said smiling a real smile.

He stepped under the water with me. I was checking him out, who could blame me though.

“Beautiful,” I said, jumping when I realized I said it out loud.

Tooru let out a loud laugh, he threw back his head as water cascaded down his features. He brought his head back up and wrapped his arms around me. He brought his face close to my own.

“Iwaizumi is going to be jealous I got to shower with you first,” he says before pulling me into the most loving kiss I had ever gotten in my life.

“I’ll make it up to him,” I said quietly.

Tooru smiles before massaging the shampoo into my hair.

As I rinse my hair, I feel hands go to my hips and I tense. Slowly Tooru moves his thumbs in tiny soothing circles against my hips and slowly I sag against him.

“Perfect,” he says,” You are so perfect.”

I feel tears prick my eyes because its not sarcastic, he meant what he just said. And for the first time I believe those words.

I feel the water shut off and gentle hands guide me out of the shower. I feel the towel moving across my body gently before he start helping me into some clothes.

That must mean Iwaizumi got back.

And when I re-entered the room my suspicions were proven correct as Iwaizumi stands up and grabs a file of paperwork handing it to Oikawa before pulling me onto his back and heading out of the room.

“No fair Iwa-chan,” said Oikawa whining,” I wanted to carry Tobio-chan.”

“You got to shower with him,” Iwaizumi deadpanned,” I get to carry him out of the hospital. Fair is fair.”

“I obviously got the better deal,” muttered Oikawa. I choked on my own spit trying not to laugh.

“Shittykawa, if it wasn’t going to hurt all three of us, I would kick your ass right now.”

Oikawa makes a big show out of moving away from “scary Iwa-chan”.

And that’s when I hear it. My best friend’s voice. Though I notice him a bit too late as I am tackled right off Iwaizumi’s back.

I feel my collar of my shirt being grabbed as Hinata yanks me forward.

“Never do that again you giant fucking dumbass,” He says tears in his eyes,” You’re my best friend. What am I supposed to do without my best friend? BAKA!”

“I’m sorry,” I said bringing him into a hug. As I look behind him, I see my team. _My family._ Kunimi and Kindaichi are there as well as all of Aoba Johsai’s team. Nekoma was there as well.

“Did you do this?” I asked Iwaizumi.

“Yeah we wanted to surprise you,” said Iwaizumi, before yelling the last part over his shoulder,” Though they were supposed to wait at the apartment! They were supposed to surprise you at your new home!”

“New home?” I ask confused.

“Yeah,” Oikawa says nervously,” You are going to be living with us instead of by yourself from now on.”

I stand in shock. I look in awe as the two upperclassmen shift on their feet nervously. They were thinking I was about to reject them.

I felt tears prick my eyes before I threw myself into their arms.

“Let’s go home,” I said into their shirts. I felt their arms tighten around me. I felt loved. And I threw my head back and laughed.

**Home.**

**Loved.**

**Laughed.**

**[Join the discord!!!](https://discord.gg/ebQ9kg5Q7r) **


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